Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Melting


Here I am.
Again.  
Pooling in this spot, congealing on the floor in a rancid puddle.  All my defenses, all my walls crumble for a bit. There are no words to explain. To describe. To apologize with.
Here I am.
Again.








Linking up with Just Write over at The Extraordinary Ordinary


Monday, April 2, 2012

10 Things I Love About You -2nd Edition



Bianca:

The way your little booty squirms and your pink toes wiggle when you are excited.

The way you ask to help me in the kitchen every SINGLE day.

The way you make your sister light up just by the look on your sweet face.

The way you dance in leaps and bounds, carefree beyond words.

The way you pretend that everything is someone with a story, even your spoon and fork become a pair of friends on an adventure.

The way you laugh too loud.

The way you comfort us with your soft sweet hands, whispering against us.

The way you are so wise beyond your three years on earth, reminding me of what's important.

The way you tell me knock knock jokes, sans punch line...but we laugh anyway.

The way you still melt into my embrace perfectly, my little girl.



Iyla:

The way you grab your feet and squeal with joy at the touch of your bare toes.

The way you grab my face with your pink fleshy hands, pinching it, squeezing it.

The way you go with the flow.

The way you breath against me, your soft cheek stuck to my neck in sweaty sleep.

The way you get the giggles and then we all have the giggles...your happiness is contagious.

They way you see the world, brand new and beautiful, like you.

The way your deep brown eyes sparkle and glow when you see bright colors, my art museum buddy.

The tiny, soft dimples in your hands, your elbows, your chin.

The sigh of pure and utter contentment that escapes your lips when I wear you in our sling.

The way you watch your big sister's every move with such a delighted fixation.








ps. I've started writing while I rock the baby to sleep at night.  For some reason my head just fills at that time and so I release it all typing notes one handed on my phone.  I wrote this last night, revisiting my original post.


Monday, March 12, 2012

5 am


5 am. We rock in black & white. Your heavy breaths crashing into my chest like waves breaking against the shore. I'm tired and yet I know one day your arms and legs will grow out of my arms and into the world. Into the color, walking, running, dancing.  And so, I clutch these black & white moments to my chest. To my heart.  For color will seep in at daybreak, moving us forward, onward. But right now it's 5am. We rock in black & white.

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Moment




In this moment there is so much.  In this moment it is so simple.  In this moment I am so full.  Full of all life has given.  I want to hold this moment in my grasp until my palm is sticky with sweat.  I want to remember this feeling of bliss when the nights are long and my body is exhausted.  I want to wear it like a blanket, protecting me from the stings, bumps and bruises that will weigh me down.  Weigh me down and make me forget.  Forget to be grateful.





Linking up with Just Write over at The Extraordinary Ordinary


Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Bath Time


Here is one of my favorite things I have made for the girls...Hooded towels.  I used the tutorial HERE at Prudent Baby (Best DIY site ever!!)  The only difference is I used a knit fabric instead of a cotton because I found an amazing deal and loved the look and feel of it.  The piping is a little bit tricky but so worth the effort, doesn't it look luxurious?!




Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Introducing...

Introducing Iyla Louise!!


Thursday, June 30, 2011

Still So...

In LOVE with :

This Face

This Grace

This Sense of Wonder

This Adventurous Spirit


Linking up with Small Style over at Mama Loves Papa again today.  

B's outfit:
Dress: Lilybird (TJ Maxx)
Ballet Slippers: Baby Gap
Sandals: Teva
Necklace: Handmade with thread by Daddy
Hair Bow: Etsy
Lipstick: Late July cracker crumbs


Thursday, June 23, 2011

Rainy Day: Small Style


That pouty face is courtesy of the gray and rainy day B is staring at out the window.  

And then...
Mommy said we could go and play in the rain!





Linking up with Small Style over at Mama Loves Papa for the first time today.  


B's outfit:
Shirt: Baby Gap
Skirt: Baby Gap
Capris: Tea, Leggings I cut off into capris
Jelly Sandals: Baby Gap
Rain Coat: Pluie Pluie
Bracelets: A gift from her grandparents in India
Necklace: Handmade with thread by Daddy
Hair Clip:??? She has had it since she was a bebe, so I forget.


I scored the skirt and jellies for ridiculous cheap!  Hooray for sales:)


Tuesday, June 21, 2011

NESTing



Last week we had these tiny baby birds in our front yard.  We don't anymore.

We discovered the babies tucked into a perfectly weaved nest inside a large and thorny bush.  Instantly Bianca and I were smitten.  I had never seen baby birds so up close and personal.  We could peek in and see clearly without touching or disturbing the bush in any way.  One we named "squaky" for his loud and incessant chirps and the other we named "chill" for his relaxed demeanor.  I loved watching the mommy and daddy (I assume) perched on our roof flying in and out of the bush to tend to the babies.  A couple mornings after our discovery, as we were leaving home, my heart sunk at the complete silence coming from the bush.  I quickly put Bianca into the car.  I held my breath, my chest tight, and tentatively peeked in.  Only one baby was in the nest, no longer alive.  I don't know what happened to them and didn't have the strength or stomach to explore further.  I made D check when he returned from business a few days later and he told me the nest was empty.

I know it was at least 50% pregnancy hormones but I cried on and off that day I discovered they were gone.  I was reminded just how delicate and quick life can be.  I was reminded me how truly blessed I am with my life and the life (lives) I have helped create.  I take it for granted.

I know this could have been one of those teachable moments for Bianca.  I would explain about the "circle of life" and how death is a part of it and she would grow as a human being.  Yet I was weak in the knees at the thought of it.  And so I did what any self-respecting mommy would do, I lied.  I told her the babies grew up and flew away.  She looked happily at the sky and shouted "Bye baby birds" and smiled contently.  There will be time to learn about death and the harshness that can sting us.  For today I'll let her dream of her baby birds on their fabulous adventures and hold the weight of world off of her for just a bit longer.  Because I'm her mommy... and I can.

As for me I have been hit by the nesting urge myself, big time.  With in the last week I have cleaned my house like the president was coming to visit, made a ridiculous amount of chocolate cupcakes for no reason (well it may have had something to do with staying up too late watching Food Network), began sewing a dress for Bianca (with my mother's help) and re-organized a couple of closets.  I'm not sure what it is that compels us to weave together these intricate nests.  Still we do it, even though we have so much less control over life than we can admit.

Friday, June 10, 2011

Potty Training Mommas

10 Signs your a PTM (Potty Training Momma):

1. Your entire schedule is mapped out based on distances between toilets.

2. You say the  words "I'm so proud you did poo in the potty" with the same enthusiasm things like "I just won the lottery", " I just got accepted into Juilliard" and "I'm engaged and look at the size of my rock" are said.

3. You set a new world record when sprinting through Target, holding your toddler out in front of you like a stick of dynamite yelling "We WILL make it to the potty in time".

4. Everything you say to your child is followed by the sentence "Do you need to go potty?".  "I love you honey, do you need to go potty?"  "Eat your carrots, do you need to go potty?" 

5. Beltline (or any HWY for that matter) traffic takes on a whole new form of terror.

6. You wonder if there is a program you can send your child to called "no child left un-trained"?

7. You carry with you more changes of clothes in your bag than when they were a newborn.

8.  You realize you are not above bribery.

9.  You finally "get" plastic covered couches.

10. You start buying toilet paper in bulk, if you weren't already.







Thankfully I think I've almost earned my potty training badge!  Best of luck to all my fellow PTMs!

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