The MOTH Incident

The night before last I awoke to B fussing in the monitor at around 2am.   I went in to check on her and she was still out, thinking it was most likely a bad dream I was about to head back to bed when I heard a loud fluttering zoom past my head!   In the light of the night light I could just make out a monster sized black bug on the wall above B's crib. I slowly turned on her lamp while holding my breath and crossing my fingers and toes that she would stay asleep, she did.  I then see the largest, blackest moth I have ever seen. It was wicked hot that night, so there I was standing in the middle of B's room in my undies and a tank top trying to figure out how to get rid of the moth without waking up B or my husband. Ridiculous thoughts run through my head like, "what if I get a cup and scoop it from the wall into the cup and then let it outside, OK that would involve leaving it alone with B, getting a cup, then assuming I manage to get it into the cup disarm the alarm to let it outside while probably letting in around 200 misquotes".   After standing there for almost 10 minutes I came to the conclusion there was no humane "moth-friendly" way to end this situation.   I was temped to wake up my husband and tell him Bugs were his department but I knew he had an early day and couldn't bring myself to. So I tip toed quickly back to the bed room and grabbed the parenting magazine off my nightstand, which I haven't had time to read yet. I rolled it up and swatted in the general direction of the moth and it quickly fluttered to the other side of the room. Then I could not find it any where and I stand there half asleep. After what seemed like forever and a day I realized it was under the lampshade! I swat it and it falls to the changing table..."SMACK"!

2:30am I am back in my bed and everyone is still asleep, final score mammoth moth:0, zombie mommy:1

My Watch

For as long as I can remember I have loved watches. Not because I needed to always know the time but because they were fun and lets face it, a darn cute fashion accessory! I still remember when I was 12 my parents gave me a watch I had wanted so very much for Christmas. It was blue and gold and numbers each had a circle around them, making it look like an old-fashioned telephone dial!

But now my watch has new significance, meaning and purpose. After my daughter was born in October I purchased my first ever digital watch, not for fashion but for function. Looking back on the last 8 months and at my chipped and cracked watch I have realized this watch has been my security blanket. When we brought Bianca home from the hospital all of the wonderful things I had learned while studying early childhood, working with children and had read over the nine plus months of pregnancy flew out the window and panic began to set in. My husband and I were responsible for this amazing, beautiful and tiny creature. I got the watch out of desperation and now looking back I realize how much it has given me. It was a time when so much was out of my control; when I ate, when I slept, breastfeeding success, my body, my non-fitting wardrobe, etc. The watch gave me one minuscule bit of control over my life back. At any given moment I could look at the watch (especially in the middle of the night thanks to the night glow button) and know what time it was down to the second. I wore it 24/7, even in the shower since it is waterproof. That for me made being a sleep-deprived zombie-mommy so much easier. Well that and my daughter’s gorgeous smile!

So now, I know I could take it off and put on one of my posh watches but I cant seem to bring myself to because it still gives me a feeling of control and also reminds me of those beginning days of motherhood that while scary were utterly amazing!!!!