Nanny Tales- Best Pick-up Line Ever

Ever since I can remember I have adored making people laugh.  There is so much joy in watching someone break into a full belly giggle at something you said and not the "I'm laughing at you" but the "you crack me up" kind of thing.  So in another attempt to hopefully spread some laughter here is my third installment of "Nanny Tales"!  I will (periodically) post stories from my former life as a nanny.

I'll start with my own stories (I have oh so many) but would love to share others stories as well.  Please feel free to email me with your funny, sad, sweet or any "nanny tales", they can be from either the nanny or parent's perspective, just don't use real names please.

Best Pick-up Line Ever

This story took place many years ago when I lived in NYC and worked as a nanny.  One of the children I cared for was a school-ager and had been hard at work for months on his annual school play.  It was all he talked about and I was looking forward to seeing him in all his glory up on that stage, assuming I would be invited to attend.  Well not only was I invited I was expected to attend to watch the parents other child as well as they would be busy yucking it up this the who's who of the ritzy "more than I payed for college" all boys school after the performance.

It was fun watching the little boys strut, sing and smile around the stage.  So young and full of promise and life.  SO happy to have their parents actually watching them, seeing them.  And what elementary school function would be complete without a cocktail bar to conclude the evening for all those parents who just HAD to endure time with their children for over an hour.  As the adults began their usual mingling and socializing the children began to play and have fun.  It was now well past 8pm (the time that was supposed to be the end of my working day but rarely was) and my charges were laughing and having fun with their friends.  I leaned awkwardly against a table sipping my ginger-ale wishing it was stiff drink watching the parents laughing with each other while mastering that challenging art of ignoring their children.  It was pretty easy for me to become invisible in these type of rooms and situations because very often no one ever noticed the "help".  It was than that a tall and inebriated fellow approached me.  One of the children's fathers and in his late 40's I was sure he was simply going to ask me a question about the children or if could he borrow the chair I was next to.  But nope, it went a little something like this:

Drunk Daddy: Hi there.
Me: Um, hi
Drunk Daddy: How did you like the show?
Me: Um, it was fun...very cute (was I supposed to answer it was poignant and insightful?, hello it was a bunch of little boys in sailor suits)
Drunk Daddy: You are very pretty and much too young to be a mother
Me: Um, I'm Billy's nanny
Drunk Daddy: I could really use a nanny myself
Me: Oh, who is your child?
Drunk Daddy: No, I meant for myself (winks at me and smiles)
Me: um (shocked and open jaw stare from my than very naive self)
Drunk Daddy: I'm sorry, It's just your so beautiful and I have this inoperable brain tumor that makes me say whatever I'm thinking.
Me: Um
Drunk Daddy: Want to leave with me?
Me: Oh what's that Billy you need some help with your shoes, coming!!!!

Okay so I'm wondering if that line ever works?  "Oh you poor man with the brain tumor let me be your naughty nanny"???  As you can see I handled it with such clever grace...."um".  One thing about my days as a nanny in NYC, they were never dull.  Long, exhausting and draining but never dull.

Change

Sometimes things change, when they really don't change.  When I started this blog it was my "message in a bottle".  My way of expressing all the things inside my head and sending it out into the universe.  I wanted to chronicle my life as a mother, (something I waited a long time to be) and express myself and my art.  In the beginning I loved it, pouring over posts with pride and reflection.  It wasn't perfect but in a way it was...it was my perfection and no one could take that from me.  

Well no one but myself.  Soon I began to fall in love with so many blogs and bloggers...their stories, their children, their laughter and tears.  My heart breaking and soaring with each moment captured in their words. And it was wonderful and then it was not.  I began to drown in it all, swimming in the amazingness of other peoples lives and tearing holes in my own, they way inside I always do.  I felt so much, I wanted so much but I couldn't keep up...with myself, with my own expectations.  And I couldn't see the beauty in my own blog, in my own words anymore.  I didn't feel that excitement and joy I once had when I thought about writing a new post.  It began to feel like a pointless chore.  All of this is my own doing.  Nothing really changed...I'm still the same me that started this blog with a post about my (ugly yet amazing) watch.  Yet now I see myself through the judging eyes of others...others that don't really exist, others that I have created in my head.

I could just walk away and let this go???  But I need this space, I need Capitolmommy for myself.  It's selfish, but I think that's okay.  Being a mother is all about being selfless and let me tell you I can rock selfless oh boy.  But we cannot give forever without any take.  So I think that's what I'm going to do.  I'm going to keep on keeping on in my hodpodgy way and find a way back to that place where being me is enough.  Enough for myself.  And I am going to keep reading blogs...because they're wonderful, I just need to remember to wear my life vest.